My Journey to spiritual wellness

I had a wonderful childhood and upbringing.  I was born to and raised by 2 loving parents and a wonderful village.  My parents served in the church my mom a missionary and minister and my dad a deacon.  They loved to serve the people of God.  More than that they loved the God of the people.  I like to say I was given a fighting chance to make this Christian walk possible.  I was raised in a church where the gospel was being preached, uncompromised where there was a standard of holiness.  Here’s where I was privileged and didn’t know it.  What was taught at church was reinforced at home.  It was not unusual to walk through the living room and to hear my mom praying, or to hear my dad having intimate moments with God.  These people nurtured their relationship with God when it mattered most….when no one was looking.

I didn’t realize it until much later in life that a lot of my peers were not afforded this same experience.  For some the life portrayed at church was not always congruent with home life.  This can be one of the first damaging things a child can witness when talking about establishing and understanding one’s own spiritual identity.  Is living a life of holiness truly possible?  Is this God I am being taught about real, does he really exist?  If he does exist why does he only seem to work at church?

Thankfully for my brother and me, our parents were not overbearing.  While they believed wholeheartedly in living by a standard of Holiness they weren’t weirdo church people.  They always provided a healthy balance.  No we were not allowed to listen to secular music or attend school dances but a relationship with God was never forced on us.  Our walk with God was our own.  No one forced us to get baptized, bargained with us to join the usher board, or negotiated with us to sing on the choir.  These were all personal choices.   Our parents lead by example.  They were not perfect but their hearts were pure and it made me believe this life of holiness and upright living was possible and the walk could be sweet.

My foundation was a good one, a solid one. I had the best examples in front of me.  Why did I make this journey more difficult than it had to be?

Hey Church Girl! is my personal story in my own words of how I went from spiritually bound (and didn’t know it) to living a life of spiritual wellness. Living a life governed by rules and laws, do’s and dont’s made for a not so peaceful walk in my early life with God.

For most of my life I viewed God the way I viewed myself and other people.  Super critical and lacking mercy.  It was hard for me to accept grace and mercy.  I felt I had to work for God’s approval and I didn’t realize it but I was driving myself crazy.  Constantly questioning or wondering where I stood with God caused occasional bouts of anxiety.

It wasn’t until I gained more clarity on the origin of these thoughts and feelings that I realized I was governing myself.  I wasn’t trying to nurture a relationship with God as much as I was just trying to stay out of Hell.  Much of what I felt was the voice of or conviction from God was really me.  I was making my walk with him strained rather than sweet by setting unrealistic standards for myself.  That was ROUGH y’all!

I know I am not the only one that identifies with a story much like my own.  There are so many expectations of who a church girl is or what a church girl should be.  So many of us have walked away from our pursuit of a life with Christ due to poor examples and influence.  We feel or have felt we will never do enough to live up to what is required to be a “good” Christian.  I pray as I share my story you are able to begin redefining what your relationship with God looks like.  I also pray you are able to see achieving a balanced life of spiritual wellness is possible.